Article 11892 of alt.sex.cthulhu:
From: sjo@cqi.com (S. Olmstead-Dean)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.cthulhu
Subject: Re: HOT AND HORNY LHOUSEWIFE NEEDS SEX 30min/$25
Date: 6 Feb 1997 12:52:19 GMT

   Hi!  My name is Yog-sothoth.  My friend, Shubniggarath, and I are REAL
Horny: Housewives, not a phone sex company with computerized answering
machines and outrageous rates.  We are just very horny women who enjoy
sharing men's fantasies, getting them off---and sometimes even getting
ourselves off!  FOR JUST $25 WE WILL GIVE YOU THE HOTTEST, MOST
UNINHIBITED, AND COMPLETELY UNRESTRICTED PHONE SEX AVAILABLE ANYWHERE!!! 
Forget the nonsense about overseas lines being more wide open, Shub and I
have NO TABOOS!!!  Just call 800-682-0878 and see for yourself. 

    We are hot for anything; we will be your Horny Mother, sister or
daughter, your slutty wife, your demanding Mistress (Shub loves that!) or
your submissive slave bitch (I, Yog, love this!). 

   We sill fuck and suck you dog, your friends, your boss.  Watch us being
gang raped or gang banged.  You can even impregnate us! 

    We will put you in diapers or piss all over you------just tell us what
you need so we can share in the fun!  Two minds are better, and more fun,
than one you know.  Your mind will be gone anyway. 

    Don't use your Visa or Mastercard or pre-pay by money order, we aren't
fussy--but we do demand your SOUL!  The best times to reach me, Yog, are
from 11p.m. until 11a.m. est when the moon esclipses Saturn; the best
times to reach Shub are from 2p.m. until 3a.m. est during the darkness of
the moon.  But you can always leave a message on my machine or with my
husband, the Shoggoth, (see we really are just housewives!) and make an
appointment. 

Your life will never be the same.