Article 11194 of alt.sex.cthulhu:
From: chfrost@aol.com (CHFrost)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.cthulhu
Subject: *Story: Gutteral Horror of Spam - Part I
Date: 29 Jan 1997 17:50:43 GMT

**ORIGINAL STORY NAME: The Horror of Spam
**ORINALLY FROM: bs904@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Andrew Nellis)
**ORIGINAL DATE: 8 Jan 1997 12:41:32 GMT
**ORIGINAL MESSAGE-ID: <5b04ls$rmg@freenet-news.carleton.ca>



**Please note:

**This story contains explicit sexual content.  If you're a minor or
**offended by such things, you shouldn't be in alt.sex.cthulhu anyway,
**but I include this warning to forestall any nasty e-mail.

**It should be obvious what inspired this story.  Comments, brickbats,
**accolades, and cold hard cash all gratefully accepted.  Positive
**feedback makes it more likely that I shall contibute again.

**All references to people living or dead are entirely intentional.

**And now, on with our story...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~>ToMe TrAnSMoGRiFicaTiOIn>~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~>ImPrOVeMenT SaME>~~~~
~~~>1.11.97>~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~VoRlaNce


                     GUTTERAL HORROR OF SPAM
                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Part I

Bob Goan picked up the pearl-handled letter opener and slit open the
statement from the phone company with practiced grace.  His nervous
eyes danced across the paper as he unfolded it, absently tapping an
elegantly manicured fingernail against his teeth.  When the whole
sheet had been read, he went through it a second time, for he was
nothing if not a methodical man.  His eyes finally came to rest on
the figure at the very bottom representing the total income from his
sex line operation.  He allowed himself a very slight, superior
smile.

He slid a slim ledger from a secret drawer in the expansive desk
which he had had custom made and crawled a number of entries.  The
coarse wooden desk, like the office in which he sat, was very costly
yet gave his office a deliberate air of authority.  The rest of the
room was an exhibition of extreme masculinity, decorated by someone
with only the slightest understanding of cultured taste and modern
political correctness.  A tiger skin, hunting trophies, and assorted
rifles which may have been somewhat appropriate for a man's study in
past decades, now hung as if in mute testimony to the repugant
character of the room's occupant.  With its heavy velvet curtains,
mahagony book cases, and fieldstone fireplace the room had more the
feel of a den than an office.  Yet, it even more resembled the lair
of a predator.  The only jarring note to the image was the very
modern computer, sleek and antiseptic white, perched on a corner of
the desk at which the man sat.

Putting his private ledger back into its place, Robert "call-me-Bob"
Goan glanced at the monitor.  The skin at the temples of his skull
wrinkled and a wry smile twisted his bloodless slash of a mouth as
his darting eyes poured over the monetary projections from his
online services.  He appreciated the irony that while it was
computers which were ultimately the source of his growing fortune,
he neither liked nor trusted them, and kept all his records using
pen and paper.

Sighing, he clicked over into terminal mode.  He didn't like them,
but they were a necessary evil since exploitation was his business.
It had been a long day and he wanted to leave, but he knew he had
better check his e-mail before he did so.  He connected to his
account and as he had feared, a message popped up in the window:

     You have 1 new pieces of mail.

He clicked on the e-mail icon, and frowned when he saw the address
the mail was from.  He didn't know either the sender or the host
address, which was very strange.  He paid very well to keep his real
e-mail address secret.  He read the message.

> To:      bgoan@secret.com
> From:    c_chaos@rlyeh.net
> Subject: Your unwanted presence.
>
> Keep your endless sex line spamvertising off of alt.sex.cthulhu or
> you will be sorry.  You have been warned.
> Ia Cthulhu.
>
> The Crawling Chaos.

Bob felt a brief moment of fear that lifted the fine hairs on the
back of his neck, but forgot it in the anger that washed over him an
instant later.  "Fucking THE BEAST IS A COP - DO NOT RESPOND!!!!!!        
      1