Ascii Art
Drinks
Jokes
Limericks

Jokes

Q: How many Lovecraftian protagonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one - but are you sure he should turn it on?
posted by FrankLBaum@aol.com (Frank L. Baum)

Ascii Art

 ________
/         \
|          \
|           \
|            \
\        __\/_\
 \       \_/\_/\___
  \/  / |  \ | \   \
 _/ _/ _|  | \  \  |_
/  |  / /  / /  |  \ \_
| /  /  | |  \   \  \  \

by: "Spurious Logik (Sir)" 
Found on alt.horror.cthulhu


 __
(oO) 
/||\ 

Found on alt.horror.cthulhu, I modified it a little bit,
and use it in my .sig. 


Limericks

There was a young plebe Miskatonic,
Whose story was really ironic,
He read an old book,
And took a good look,
And now he's a high priest of the Cthonic.
- Andrew C Bulhak (acb@bruce.cs.monash.edu.au)

There was a young plebe Miskatonic,
Whose story was really ironic,
He read an old book,
And took a good look,
Now he's Cthulhu's high colonic.
- Bill Tigrak [posted by Jonathan Sivier (jsivier@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu)]

There was a young man from Innsmouth.....
Who cheerfully plighted his trowth
To a series of wives
And their nuptial dives
Were the scandalous talk of the South!
- Jonathan Burns (burns@latcs2.lat.oz.au)

There once was a Mi-Go from Mars
Who took people out past the stars
He'd skillfully drain
Each one of their brain
And he never would leave any scars.
- Dennis Maggard (dmaggard@access.digex.net)

I knew a young woman whose dreams
would stalk the night streets of Orleans
leaving trails of ichor
which confounded the vicar
who vanished 'midst blood-curdling screams
- Dave D Rahbari (LeStief@world.std.com)

Confused was the young Innsmouth feller
About the youth of the average town dweller
He wondered a lot
Where the old folks had got
But now he knows, and he hides in his cellar
- Arthur Levesque (bakslash@nicom.com)

Yog-Sothoth most surely is great,
The Old Ones upon on him do wait,
But who would believe
That every May Eve
Lavinia Whateley's his date?
- Dennis Maggard (dmaggard@access.digex.net)

There once was a black goat named Shub,
Who suggested men give her a rub,
Soon she started to growl,
From the woods came a howl,
And in nine months she spawned her a cub!
- Darren Sullivan (speedbmp@ix.netcom.com)

There once was a black goat in the forest,
Whose taste in sex partners was the poorest,
She mounted a stump,
Shoved a limb up her rump,
And made her huge orifice the sorest.
- Darren Sullivan (speedbmp@ix.netcom.com)

A German inside his U-boat
Deep in the Atlantic did float,
When it ran aground
A temple he found
That glowed in the darkness to gloat.
- Dennis Maggard (dmaggard@access.digex.net)

Pickman used models exotic
Well-versed in matters necrotic,
They're burrowing still
Out under Copp's Hill
And all who know are psychotic.
- Dennis Maggard (dmaggard@access.digex.net)

There was a young writer from Providence
Who brilliantly coined his own evidence
Like weird-sounding names
(which spawned role-playing games)
And dark tomes about alien revenants
- Az0th (azoth@netcom6.netcom.com)

The Necronomicon?? *You* can't be shown one!
While the libraries *never* will loan one!
But if it's so rare
And guarded with care
Why does every nut case seem to own one?
- Dennis Maggard (dmaggard@access.digex.net)

There once was a fellow named Blake
Of Trapezohedrons he spake;
But his soul got posessed.
The moral? "Don't mess
With Azathoth, for goodness sake!"
- Daniel Snyder (snydder@ocf.Berkeley.EDU)

The ticket said "One way to Yuggoth"
And the pilot was a big purple moth
They took my brain out of place
And put it into a case
Then screamed 'Ia Ia' and took off
-Ben Swinburn (bs@u.washington.edu)

Nyarlathotep loves to play gin
So I had him deal me in
I bet my life
which ended in strife
When the cards we used ate off my skin
-Ben Swinburn (bs@u.washington.edu)

The Mi-Go will fly you to space
With tact and discretion and grace;
They'll make your excuses
And run little ruses--
And all to make sure you save face...
- Steven B. Harris


Drinks

After Lovecraft Draught Cider and Cthulhu Tequila...

I thought we should invent a special sort of blender to compose lovecraftian cocktails.

And we would name it: "Mix-a-Tonic" !

Christophe Thill - Paris, France - c_thill@worldnet.fr

Hmmm...

Well, there really ought to be a drink called "space mead."

How about these others as well:

* Arkham Ale
* Sloe Gin Gibber (favored by ghouls, sure to have you meeping in no time)
* Pickman's Mug-Ale (I am especially sorry for this terrible pun)
* Sex on the Vale of Pnath
* Shoggoth Shooters (a Jello shooter variant)
* The Thing On The Rocks
* Suffering Byakhee
* The Strange Highball In The Mist
* Blind Idiot God (similar to a Zombie; what you become after a night of drinking them)
* Seething Miasma

I'm sure the only reason HPL didn't come up with these on his own was because he did most of his writing during Prohibition...

robert - robstoll@aol.com (RobStoll)